Reflexive Project

 In Retrospect

Elizabeth Henderson

Lesley University

Author Note

This reflexive project was prepared for GMIND 7500 – Thesis, Summer 2019

In Retrospect

When reflecting on the research process for my thesis project – creation of a mindful education course for preservice teachers – I can say is that I truly enjoy the process of research and writing. I can’t put my finger on any one aspect of research that I particularly dislike or find to be unpleasant; I like the challenge and process of researching the nuances of a topic and writing a research paper. From the moment of decision on the subject matter to editing the final draft, going about the work of research is a satisfying endeavor for me. I enjoy reading the research, conclusions, and suggestions of other researchers and take pleasure in discovering the scholarly conversation. I could spend hours poking around library databases, inputting different search parameters just to see what comes up, prioritizing both the important elements and the obscure ones, and compiling lists, notes, and quotes that I can eventually synthesize into a written record of my effort. For me, that is highly satisfying. And while I enjoy it a great deal, it is not without its challenges.

One of those challenges is putting together an actual literature review. I understand the concrete definition of a literature review, but somehow struggle putting it down on paper. This is probably the reason why my completed literature review for this project was more like a draft of the rationale for my creative project rather than a review. I can say it is a ‘challenge’ to confidently ‘know’ that I have found and considered all the research that is ‘out there’; I am positive that there are studies on mindful education that I have not read or even seen (although, I hope not many!). In fact, just last week I stumbled across another study that I was able to include into the rationale. I am still not sure how this study escaped my many searches and ‘reference chasing.’ As a result, I have learned not to overlook a simple Google search to see what comes up – it could uncover something useful.

In addition to researching, I truly enjoyed designing the course in mindful education for this thesis project. After following so many syllabi as a student and purposely observing more than a few professors’ approach to presenting materials and instruction, I was eager to try my hand at creating a course of study. I was grateful for the opportunity to develop my own independent study, and it was a great experience for me.

I spent hours intently pouring over materials, researching the scholars and research articles, finding the respected books on the subject, and designing a course with exactly what I thought I needed to know about mindful education. It was fun to think about creating a course with all the elements that were edifying to me. All that effort, as well as the independent study itself, put me in good stead to create this course for preservice teachers. One major takeaway from my independent study was that even though I diligently tried to build a solid syllabus, as I went through the course, I found myself changing the schedule, adding readings, and modifying assignments. It was a good lesson.

Immediately after receiving feedback about my thesis literature review, I dove headfirst into syllabus creation for my creative project. After my experience with the independent study syllabus, I decided the first thing I needed was to research how to write a syllabus. I discovered James Lang who had written, both online and in his book On Course (2008),  much about designing and instructing college courses. I also chose to read a guide to designing curriculum, assessment, and instruction (Understanding by Design, Wiggins & McTighe, 2005). With this information, and some guidance and encouragement from a couple of beloved former professors from my alma mater, I was on my way.

The process of creating both the rationale portion and the creative component of this thesis has gone amazingly well, and much faster than I imagined, due to having had the specific concentration/focus of mindful education throughout the program. With this thesis project, I have been able to refer to much of my studies, including internship. I feel that this course would be a positive addition to education programs offered at community colleges.

Full Disclosure

From the start of this program, I have had quite an aversion to reflexive writing. I had become quite comfortable writing as the observer and report the research for grades. This aversion was a bit ironic, too, because years ago I was an avid blogger who relished reflexive writing as a form of social commentary. As I contemplated that irony, it started to become clear that reflecting about my own experience for grade made me feel overly vulnerable. I realized that it was the assessment and critique that was the issue, not the actual writing.

In thinking about the process of developing, researching, and writing this thesis, as well as the entirety of this program, I meandered back through discussion posts from my first course – Graduate Academic Writing. It is always interesting to read my own writing after time as passed, and this time was no different. Back in Week 9 of that course I wrote,

of the two types of writing, freewriting and research writing, I prefer research papers – so buttoned down and well-defined, not so vulnerable, personally revealing, or emotionally taxing. It doesn’t require a lot of emotion to find, read, and sort sources. I can enjoy following the formula to put together the information. This is all very understandable, unlike somewhat squishy definitions of what is supposed to go into a discussion post or a reflection/response paper. I know most don’t much care to write research papers, but at least I understand what is expected.

Reflexive writing, much like freewriting (in my view), brings up and lays bare what is most pressing in our thoughts – and yes, that is emotionally taxing. I still prefer writing research papers and continue to struggle with reflection assignments like this one. Ultimately, I suspect that it is a fear of criticism that is getting the best of me. If I can report and synthesize the research in an accurate and analytical way, the forthcoming criticism is not of me, but of the content. It would be nothing personal. But what I didn’t fully comprehend at the onset of this program was that because of the nature of the content, it was all going to be personal.

This final work on my thesis project was also personal. I wrote in my rationale that I “believe strongly” that mindfulness practices can be a benefit for not only preservice teachers, but their future students, and all those connected to them – family, friends, school, community, and the world at large. And that brings me to what I think is at the heart of this mindfulness program – social justice. Mindfulness tugs and prods each of us to be present in our relationships and, quite simply, to be more aware. And when we become more aware, we can grow more compassionate and empathetic to the suffering of others and may even be compelled to help. How can that not be personal?

When things are personal, I remind myself that if I am emotionally reacting (or taking something personally), then I must be more attached than I realize. I am certainly attached to the subject of mindful education for teachers, but even more specifically, preservice teachers. I truly wrote this mindful education course for teacher candidates like my daughter. Morgan decided to become an elementary school teacher after she graduated high school and chose to get her required degree and teacher certification from a community college that offered a baccalaureate in education. She was part of the first cohort to earn a bachelor’s degree in education from that community college. I am happy to say that she just completed her first year of teaching first grade and has decided to embark upon a master’s degree program.

Her educational journey to become a teacher was not without struggle. As is to be expected, new programs experience growing pains, and students are obligated to navigate the bumps and bruises along the way. Morgan handled each challenge with grace and wisdom; I am proud of her perseverance and determination. However, it is more than clear to me that things could have been improved with a course in mindful education, not just to teach the practical aspects of introducing mindfulness into the classroom, but to support teacher candidates in their studies, during their  (often stressful) student teaching, and into their early-career years. I truly created this course with Morgan in mind, and all teacher candidates like her that are seeking their baccalaureate through a community college.

Every aspect of the course, every reading, every reading prompt, along with the inclusion of required investigation of a personal practice, was designed to allow space for mindful self-care and awareness. Most students are preoccupied with too much reading, writing, deadlines, and assessments; staunchly focused on their goal, they rarely consider, or take time for, self-care. Developing a mindfulness practice during their training could change the way they study, retain, and apply what they are learning. I believe that being exposed to mindful education during a degree/certification program could really be a game-changer in the career of a teacher.

Why This Project Matters to Me

During the creation of the mindful education course, my friend sent me a link to another course that sounded a lot like my project. At first, I felt rather deflated – what if the course I was creating wasn’t, in fact, addressing the educational gap I had perceived? However, when I took a breath and looked at the course offering (from a university), it had some very distinct differences. First, it was designed for teachers already working in the field, not preservice teachers. Next, it was a standalone course and not intended to be part of a program of study. Third, it was one of many ‘continuing education’ courses offered to working teachers at their own expense. The course I have developed is specifically for preservice teachers because they are at a significant risk of developing chronic stress and burnout within the first five years of teaching. I believe this is a factor in what some call the ‘current teacher retention crisis.’

There is not only a decreasing number of new teachers emerging from higher education with a bachelor’s degree and ready for certification, but there is also a serious shortage of substitute teachers. Many teacher candidates already feel some degree of stress from their studies while preparing for state certification testing and can carry this stress into their student teaching and first few years. These new teachers can develop chronic stress and burnout from several causes – new-career pressures, student behavioral management issues, co-worker/administration relational challenges, expected work outside of instructional hours (or during personal time), and/or the use of personal financial resources for classroom supplies. My admittedly limited observation of educators substantiates these stresses. My mother was an educator (pre-K) that continually worked during her personal time, as well as spending copious amounts of her personal funds for needed classroom or school supplies. My best friend, a third-grade teacher, does the same. Many other teachers I know and have known have the same story, and the same stress and concerns. It is a wonder that they make it through their first five years, much less retirement.

This thesis work was personal for me because I care about the state of our education system. When you have teachers that are chronically stressed and burned out, you will have students affected by that stress personally, emotionally, and academically. I have always been concerned about the state of our public education, which is the main reason I chose to homeschool my own children. I continue to be concerned about the students and the teachers in this system as it is today. Perhaps I can contribute in a positive way by offering this course to preservice teachers. Considering the influence teachers have on so many students over the course of their careers, I think a mindful education course for preservice teachers that has the possibility of improving teacher and student wellbeing is worthy of consideration.

I had a professor once say that an author or researcher is as objective as possible when they fully disclose their bias. So, here is mine: After all my study and research of mindful educational practices, I don’t see much liability to introducing mindfulness practices into the education process, whether it be to preservice teachers, long-time teachers, students (of any age), administrators, or communities. I believe it can be a benefit to any organization if everyone is on-board and genuine about their intentions, experiences, and practice. Further, I don’t believe that mindfulness is a religious practice in the secular setting of public education. When instruction, interventions, or curricula is based on scientific research and is without religious bias or motives, it cannot interfere with, or proselyte to or for, any religious tradition or practice. Interestingly, there are authors who make their whole argument for mindful education without even using the term mindfulness at all (they call it The Five Dimensions of Engaged Teaching, Weaver & Wilding, 2013). I would even suggest that many aspects of mindful education could be titled social emotional learning (SEL), as it is my opinion that it is difficult to teach SEL without a mindfulness component. Whatever we want to call it, I believe that being fully present in the moment, taking time to focus on the breath, and cultivating awareness of the fleeting nature of everything (including our feelings) is important to share with students of all ages … for the betterment of society.

References

Lang, J. M., (2008). On course: A week-by-week guide to your first semester of college teaching. USA: Caravan.

Weaver, L., & Wilding, M. (2013). The five dimensions of engaged teaching: A practical guide for educators. Bloomington, IN: Solution Tree Press.

Wiggins, G., & McTighe, J. (2005). Understanding by design. Alexandria, VA: Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD) Publications.